Carpe Diem

The past week I've been reflecting a lot on the last couple years. I've been crying quite a bit, missing Sofia and wishing she was here. Seeing babies- make that toddlers-that were born around the same time as Sofia is like a slap in the face of the cold reality that time moves on but the image of her remains unchanged.

Tim & I both feel now just as strongly as we did back in 2010 that Sofia has made us realize how important it is to appreciate what we have in life. We didn't want to shut down and not live life. We did our best (and it hasn't been easy) to remain strong - but allow ourselves to fall down now & then. We didn't waste any time trying for our second, then third baby. 

Now that Rose is here, we kiss her sweet cheeks constantly, hug & snuggle her as often as possible, play and smile every day. We absolutely love every minute- even when she's crying. We're fortunate to have an "easy" baby, but part of me thinks she's "easy" because we are patient and devote as much time as we can to loving & caring for her. She is our top priority and we try to "seize the day" every day with her.

Yesterday was first time I had heard about a little baby girl named Avery. She was born on 11-11-11 and was diagnosed with SMA. She was given 18 months to live and her parents created a bucket list for her. It was such a touching story to read and while it made me sad, it was inspiring.  

Today, sadly, I read that yesterday afternoon she unexpectedly passed away. I probably shouldn't have read her blog over my lunch at my desk at work because I was literally trying to hold back tears. I was thinking about the pain the parents must be feeling over their loss. I was also thinking about Rose and how this baby was only a couple months older than her...and that even though we have ourselves experienced the loss of a child, I could not imagine losing a baby at 5 months of age. 

I told Tim about it (he actually was the one who told me about the story to begin with) and he was shocked and sad that they were robbed of what little time they had left. I'm glad that the parents chose to make that bucket list and raise awareness of SMA at the same time. 

I believe that we all serve some purpose in this lifetime and I think that while it seems like Avery was taken too soon, the timing of it seemed strange...like she was here, she made her mark, she & her blog quickly made headlines and raised awareness, and now she is gone, in heaven.

So when I got home from work today you can bet I kissed Rose a few more times, hugged & snuggled a bit more than usual, played and smiled as long as she wanted to, and thanked God for letting us spend our days with our little girl. We won't take her for granted ever- that is a promise.