Three Months

Everyone tells you to enjoy all the baby moments because it goes so fast.  This is so true! Rose is changing in what feels like a blink of an eye. How is she already 3 months? No longer a newborn, she is growing and very alert. Her 3 month milestone was on Friday, the 20th.

The other day I decided to view some of the video we had recorded starting at the hospital after Rose was born along with her first day at home. She was SO itsy bitsy! The little cries have changed, her size has changed, it all has! I'm so glad we have the stages on video and hope we continue remembering to capture things. Whenever she does something cute (this is a regular occurrence, ha!), we turn on the video recorder and get a few minutes of whatever it is she's doing. 

With her being three months it meant me going back to work. Talk about separation anxiety... I had a hard time the first day back, mostly in the morning at home before work. I started on a Friday (Friday the 13th!). The superstitious side of me was a bit worried about that but the logical side of me thought it was great. It wasn't a day I picked; it just landed that way after 12 weeks maternity leave. It made for an easy day, knowing I was just cleaning out emails and after work it was the weekend again. My mom came over in the morning and stayed at our house all day to watch Rose. It might sound crazy but when I handed Rose over to my mom I started crying & said I didn't want to go to work. I felt like I was saying good-bye (and not see ya later today). All the emotions/memories of saying good-bye to Sofia flooded into my head. Ugh. I had to keep reminding myself that it isn't good-bye, just see you after work. Still, it was hard.This past week was a tough one too. It isn't easy dropping off your little one when you feel like you should be the one caring for her all day. Still working out many kinks with the grandparents who are watching her. Talk about a challenge & a headache. Sigh... On a positive note, my schedule gets me out of work earlier which allows me to get home to Rose sooner each night. I'll have at least 4 hours with her before bedtime so I'm glad about that.

We're so fortunate & blessed to have such a happy, easy baby. She generally only cries when she wants something (new diaper, bottle, or she's bored). If all babies were this easy we'd be called the Duggars (kidding). We think Rose is pretty darn cute & we're loving every minute of our time with her.

Three Months

Weight: 12.5 lbs (approximate, using our own scale)

Length: 24.5 inches (our own measurements)

Diaper Size: Just changing over from size 1 to size 2

Clothing Size: 3 months & 3-6 months. Feet are snug on 0-3 months/3 months

Milestones: continues to smile, coos, follows objects/people with her eyes, still self-soothes using her own hand but will occasionally accept a pacifier (only a certain kind), very mobile & alert, happiest on her back where she can kick her arms & legs around, moves all over the place in her crib at night- wakes up on opposite end of crib in opposite direction. Still sleeping through the night (has since 8 weeks!!) Holds her head up most of the time. Starting to reach for and hold onto things including her own clothes, attempts to bring them to her mouth. Has been laughing in her sleep and just started laughing out loud. Loves her play mat with the bees and her bouncer where she stares at "Mr. Bee". Starting to "meet" new toys with faces and she smiles away at them- so cute!

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

The switch to formula

While I was pregnant and planning everything, when it came to feeding I was indifferent. Maybe that's not the right word; I was open to breast feeding but not tied to it in my head. I was also open to formula feeding. Ultimately, I figured I'd try breast feeding and if it worked, great, if not, that's fine too. I knew that breast feeding gives the best to baby so of course I wanted to do that but wasn't going to stress if it didn't work out.

Not many people in our family (past generations) breast fed their babies so I didn't have their experiences/stories/advice to go on. Maybe that's a good thing because oftentimes "advice" is pushed on us new mommas as if we don't have a clue. I'm one who reads, reads, and reads some more to become as knowledgeable as I can be. I also have some friends with lots of experience and they helped without being too overbearing.

I was one of the lucky ones because baby Rose latched on during the first hour of her life outside the womb.  I never had cracked nipples or mastitis or engorgement. I didn't leak uncontrollably or have clogged ducts. I guess that's why it added to the guilt I had when I decided to wean her and switch to formula. It felt like I was not only betraying Rose, but my body too.

You hear people say how great the bonding is, blah, blah, blah... Well it's so true! It took me a week and a half to finally "rip the band-aid" so to speak and slowly wean her off. I'll be returning to work in the very near future and decided it would be too difficult to pump at work.  The fact that Rose has been sleeping through the night since she was 8 weeks old (yay!!) and being at work all day means my milk supply would certainly diminish. It already started to with her sleeping through the night. I would get up at 2 am to pump so I was still not getting sleep even though Rose was.

Rose was just shy of two months old when I made the switch. I remember the very last time I breast fed her. It was her first morning feeding on Thursday, March 15th, the day before she turned 8 weeks. We were in her room in the rocking chair and I felt so, so sad.

It's amazing what hormones can do to a new mom! It wasn't like I was losing her but it felt like it. There's a connection with breast feeding that I don't think you can feel through bottle feeding. At least that is my experience. I said previously that I never dealt with engorgement but that's not entirely accurate. I did have it when I weaned her off the breast. It hurt. A lot! A few times I pumped just a little so I could relieve some pressure and get some sleep but it was horrible! Rock hard & huge (for little me) and very painful. It took about a week for me to stop leaking and for the soreness to go away.

Rose only turned her head towards my chest a few times (which was gut-wrenching guilt-wise). One night I had a breakdown, just sobbing over it. Tim brought me some perspective on the matter. He said I would eventually have weaned her off (whether it be at 2 months, 6 months, a year...) so the separation anxiety I was feeling would be there whenever I did it.  He was right, so I stuck to my decision.

If I were a stay at home mom I know I'd still be breast feeding today. Rose is on her second type of formula, a sensitive formula given to us by her pediatrician for her gas & tummy issues. The poopy diapers with formula are NASTY! I was half-tempted to go back to BF'ing for that reason alone! And the bottle preparation is a major pain in my opinion. It was so much easier to just lift up my shirt. Now when she's hungry she freaks out if it takes too long to get her a bottle. I try occasionally to have it prepared when I 'think' she will be ready for more, but babies are unpredictable at times. I prefer to let HER tell me when she's hungry.  This is how I know when she is:

From Our Rainbow

Here she is, enjoying a bottle:

From Our Rainbow

Rose is a hungry little hippo as I call her... She was eating 3-4 oz at a time but this week she's been wanting more like 5-6 oz. She's a growing girl, and formula is going to get costly!!

I've come to realize that the emotions and fears I was having didn't last long and that I'm still able to bond with her in other ways. Fortunately it wasn't difficult to make the switch for Rose. She accepted a bottle and formula without issues. We have a very happy baby and she gives me smiles all throughout the day. We just have to bond in other ways now.

Here we are playing on her play mat:

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

And here's a couple pics of her not smiling but still just as cute in my totally unbiased mind, haha!

From Our Rainbow

From Our Rainbow

I think with our next baby I'll attempt to breast feed just a little longer but we'll see. :)

2 month Pediatrician Visit

Rose had her two month visit to the pediatrician at 9 weeks and I didn't think it would be a big deal but I cried when she got the shots. The poor little girl was so happy & playful before the nurse came in so that made me feel worse. Here she was, on the exam table, smiling, cooing, scooting across to get to the Doctor's instruments, and then BAM! Two shots to the left leg, one on the right and a cold liquid 'shot'. She was NOT happy. The tears were flowing on her face & mine as I tried to calm her down. It's horrible!! She barely gets over the first shot then the next one jabs her tiny chicken legs. I could tell it was quite a shock to her each time.  She was worn out after they were done so I gave her a bottle and she fell asleep on my shoulder. She was pretty tired the rest of the day.  She seemed to be a little on edge too- almost untrusting, afraid more shots were coming. I had to try & reassure her she was done with that for the day and that it wasn't me who administered the shots. :(

She's doing great developmentally. Her weight is in the lower percentile but the pediatrician assured me that was just fine because she was smaller when she was born (compared to other babies her age). Poor girl does have a big/normal sized head for the rest of her body (which isn't a concern by Dr in any way). It just makes it harder to get some small clothes over her head- something she absolutely hates!

Length: 22.5 (53.78 percentile)
Weight: 10.06 (10.1 was what we were told, but chart has 10.06- 26.94 percentile)
Head circumference: 15.9 (84.19 percentile)

Here she is at home before heading to the Dr. She's stylin' in her shades, shoes & jean skirt (that finally fit her)!

From Our Rainbow

Happy on the exam table, before shots:

From Our Rainbow

She saw the instruments and was determined to scoot across the table to see them:

From Our Rainbow

After the shots. :( She normally won't take a pacifier but that day she did. Poor girl!

From Our Rainbow

Two shots in the left leg:

From Our Rainbow

One shot in the right leg:

From Our Rainbow

After a bottle. She sure looks huge in this pic:

From Our Rainbow